Episode 1453: Time Is on Our Side
Date November 7, 2019 Summary Sam Miller and Meg Rowley revisit a fast-moving 1916 afternoon tilt between the Asheville Tourists and the Winston-Salem Twins with some historic significance, and engage in an Effectively Wild experiment. Topics * Recreation of the fastest professional baseball game * Asheville Tourists * Winston-Salem Twins * Pace of play issues * Baseball without umpires * Episode 1217 follow-up: Real life 'Vroom Vroom' game * Playing games after teams are eliminated * Review of the Tourists vs. Twins game Intro Ben Gibbard and Feist, "Train Song" Sam introduces the episode concept Interstitial Muddy Waters, "Train Fare Home Blues" Outro Oscar Peterson Trio, "Things Ain't What They Used to Be" Episode outtake sound clip Notes * The episode takes the form of a radio play: Meg and Sam are radio announcers calling what would become the fastest professional game ever. No actual broadcast exists, so the game is a reconstruction from written reports. * The game time was moved up 32 minutes so that the Tourists could try to catch a train out of town. The game ended in 31 minutes, finishing before its scheduled start time. * Sam says that when he and Ben were running the Stompers he entertained the idea of beating this record, but he couldn't figure out how to make the math/speed of it work. * An Oakland Tribune piece declared that baseball may be dying. Sam blames pace of play: "The average game time is nearing two hours. Many adults consider that simply too slow to keep them entertained, and many young children find it too time-consuming to fit into their busy work week." * The first three innings were played without an umpire because he had yet to arrive at the ballpark. * Sam and Meg banter over whether baseball could be played without an umpire, like golf. Sam concedes that baseball "is a sport of scoundrels and cheats", and both agree that the numerous judgement calls preclude objective decisions, even from well-meaning players. * A half-inning ends in three pitches, and Sam proposes the term "minimus inning". * Meg observes that the pitchers are not throwing particularly hard. * Winston-Salem player Frank Nesser picks up an errant throw from the on-deck circle and threw out his own teammate at second base. He then came to bat and hit a home run. * Meg and Sam banter on what the game would become if everybody ran like the the Vroom Vroom Guy. * Sam and Meg banter on the players' names. Is "Ray Rolling" an athletic name? The name of first baseman "Al Bumb" is the source of much amusement. * Meg describes the shortest game on record prior to today's game, which included a triple play. * The Asheville Tourists owner did not arrive until late in the game and was upset that the fans were cheated out of a proper baseball game. He promised refunds to all paying customers. * In this era, farcical games are not uncommon late in the season when the results are meaningless to the standings. Sam wonders whether they are good or bad for baseball. Meg opines that a meaningless game can still be enjoyable. * The visiting Twins win 2-1. Sam notes that if the game had been rigged to end as soon as possible, they would have let the home team win, to skip the bottom of the ninth. * After the "broadcast", Meg and Sam discuss which parts were real and which were made up. There is no detailed record of each plate appearance besides the scoring plays; Sam and Meg also knew some of the players but had to backfill their best guess for other players and the lineup order. * During the game pitchers regularly began an inning before their fielders were set behind them. * Sam thinks that nobody took a pitch during the game. Links * Effectively Wild Episode 1453: Time Is on Our Side * Hell and High Water: The Flood of 1916 by Heidi Coryell Williams * Quicker Than Quick: A 31-Minute Professional Game by Wynn Montgomery * That Was Quick! by Wynn Montgomery * A Brief History of the Many Times Baseball Has Died by Emma Baccellieri Category:Episodes